Sleep problems and solutions in toddlers and older children

What causes sleep problems for older children?

Most babies start to show signs of sleeping through the night any time from about six months onwards – but that doesn’t mean they’ll always sleep through or that sleeplessness is a thing of the past.

There are lots of common issues that can affect the sleep of toddlers and older children, but there are many strategies you can try to get them back into good sleeping habits.

Bedtime battles

When you’re faced with an active toddler who doesn’t want to go to bed (especially one who’s big enough to run away from you), bedtimes can sometimes become a battleground, with your little one pushing the boundaries later and later every night.

However lively they are, even big, grown-up four-year-olds usually need about 12 hours sleep every night. Bedtime should be a cuddly, relaxing time that both parent and child can enjoy. So what can you do to calm things down?

Routine, routine, routine

Just like with younger babies, consistency and routine are crucial to happy bedtimes. Your routine might be as simple as ‘milk, cuddle, story’, but knowing that the wind-down to bedtime will be the same every night will really help your little one get used to settling for the night.

If you’re currently stuck with a bedtime that’s drifted later than you’d like, make a point of sticking to a wind-down routine, starting about 20 minutes before they normally fall asleep – then gradually move the beginning of that routine a bit earlier every night until you hit the bedtime you want.

Barriers to falling asleep

If your little one finds it hard to settle at bedtime, or is constantly getting out of bed, it’s useful to think about any practical things that might be stopping them from dropping off.

Make sure they’ve got everything they need to snuggle down – have a drink within reach, a nightlight if you use one, and, of course, any special toy or comforter that helps them settle. Ensure that their bedroom is calm and quiet, and that they’re not too hot or too cold in bed.

If you’re concerned that your child’s day-to-day worries might be what’s keeping them awake, try setting aside some time before bed to talk through the day together. This can be particularly useful for older children who are negotiating things like starting school and getting in the habit of talking about feelings can help little ones understand their own emotions as well as those of other people.

If you think that getting up is becoming a habit without any specific cause, it’s a good idea to decide how you prefer to handle this in your family and stick to one consistent approach.

For example, some parents choose to calmly and quietly take the child back to bed each time, with minimal conversation, while others find a cuddle with mum or dad will help their little one settle down.

Milestones and multitasking

If your child’s sleep habits change suddenly, or a toddler who’s always been good at having naps is suddenly all about being awake, it’s worth thinking about what else is currently going on in their lives – for example, are they working hard to master a new physical skill?

When children are focusing all their energy on achieving a big developmental milestone, such as walking, talking or potty training, it’s perfectly normal to see some of their other skills (like bedtime or sleeping) slide back a bit. Extra cuddles and some early nights can be a good idea when little ones are getting to grips with a new stage.

Night terrors and sleepwalking

Both night terrors and sleepwalking are things that can happen to children when deep sleep gets interrupted suddenly and the body becomes active, albeit in an automatic, non-thinking, non-receptive way. 

Night terrors are different to nightmares, and can be really frightening to witness as a parent. A child in the grip of night terrors may appear not to recognise you, and might be hard to comfort as they scream and thrash about. If you’re faced with this, the best way to handle it is to stay calm and try not to intervene.

Once the episode has ended, gently wake your child up, comfort them if they’re distressed, and make sure that they’ve woken up fully before settling them down to sleep again. Luckily, children are unlikely to remember episodes of night terrors the following day – and it is something that little ones will grow out of.

Sleepwalking is another common problem that’s rooted in deep sleep being interrupted. It’s slightly more common in older children (aged over 5). If you come across your child sleepwalking, don’t try to wake them up. Talk to them calmly and quietly and see if they’ll follow your instructions to go back to bed. Stay close to ensure they don’t hurt themselves, and gently guide them back to bed.

Bedwetting

Most children aren’t reliably dry at night until they’re somewhere between 3.5 and 4 years old. But accidents happen from time to time – even once your little one is toilet trained at night – especially if they’re poorly, overtired, or having nightmares.

The key here is to stay calm and relaxed about bedwetting and reassure your child that it’s not a problem. Make good toilet habits part of their bedtime routine, and don’t make a big deal of it when they have an accident.